the scarlet nemesis

not much to say really

2006-10-18T15:53:00.000+13:00

Hmmm. I found out yesterday the unmentionable ex has a new girlfriend. Pffft. Loser. It's been what? 2 weeks since we broke up? And he started to go out with her like 5 days after we broke up. Oh the immaturity! Silly, silly relationships. And it turns out, it's his best girl mate he's going out with. Now that will have a lovely ending.
And I'm single. And I don't really care!! Much rather be having all the fun in the world with my guy mates and being able to do whatever I want, when I want, and not having the annoyance of a boyfriend to stuff up my friendships over pathetic little things. Ah tis great living the life of the free. I'll find someone when I want to. I'm only 16! No need for "Mr Right" for at least 10 years I suppose.
Not much else has been happening lately. Oh my eldest bro got back from Europe. Did you know there are nuclear power plants in Switzerland? And they look just like the one on the Simpsons that Homer works at. It amused me I'll tell you that. Ah well must go, gotta go to dancing! bye xx

.. if love's a drug, I guess we're all sober..

2006-10-15T14:25:00.000+13:00

Am I wrong to think we are on the verge of another world war? How pathetic are we in this world. To be honest, I blame males. No matter how attractive they are and how much fun they are, they're the world's problems. They just can't get enough power can they? Everything is a competition. I can't stand it! Although I'm living at the bottom of the world, a place where nobody usually really knows about, I'm scared. What if a war did occur? What would happen to my country? No doubt we'd follow Australia ... it seems all so deja vu. They say history never repeats but it seems like it is.. the UN has pressed sanctions on North Korea, much like when the UN (called the league of nations at the time) pressed sanctions on Germany in WW2. If NZ did follow australia into war if it happend, that would mean the ANZACs (australia and new zealand army corps) would be repeated. So many of them died invading Turkey. There's few decent guys around here any way, I couldn't stand losing them to causes that can most certainly be prevented! I'm the only girl in my family. All my cousins and siblings are boys...my family could be practically demolished in months! I can't stand thinking about it. I know girls join the army and fight as well now-a-days...I can't imagine losing all these people I've grown to love if war happens. Everyone should study the poems by Wilfred Owen, in all of them he pretty much says that War's a joke, it's not sweet and noble to die for one's country, it's all a big lie. He wrote them all in the trenches in WW2 and died like a week before the armistice. It made me think about everything.

Lol, while writing all this I was listening to this song without even realising it until the end of the song here are the lyrics:

I've got a friend, he's a pure-bred killing machine,
He said he's waited his whole damn life for this,
I knew him well when he was seventeen,
Now he's a man who'll be dead by Christmas.

And, so...Everybody's going to war,
But we don't know what we're fighting for,
Don't tell me it's a worthy cause,
No cause could be so worthy.

If love is a drug, I guess we're all sober,
If hope is a song I guess it's all over,
How to have faith, when faith is a crime?
I don't want to die...
If God's on our side, then God is a joker,
Asleep on the job, his children fall over,
Running out through the door and straight to the sky,
I don't want to die...

For every man who wants to rule the world,
There'll be a man who just wants to be free,
What do we learn but what should not be learnt?
Too late to find a cure for this disease.

so...Everybody's going to war,
But we don't know what we're fighting for,
Don't tell me it's a worthy cause,
No cause could be so worthy.

If love is a drug, I guess we're all sober,
If hope is a song, I guess it's all over,
How to have faith, when faith is a crime?
I don't want to die...
If God's on our side, then God is a joker,
Asleep on the job, his children fall over,
Running out through the door, and straight to the sky,
I don't want to die...
I-I-I-I
I-I-I-I
don't want to die,
I-I don't want to die...

so...Everybody's going to war,
But we don't know what we're fighting for,
Don't tell me it's a worthy cause,No cause could be so worthy.

If love is a drug, I guess we're all sober,
If hope is a song, I guess it's all over,
How to have faith, when faith is a crime?
I don't want to die...
If God's on our side, then God is a joker,
Asleep on the job, his children fall over,
Running out through the door, and straight to the sky,
I don't want to die...
I-I-I-I
I-I-I-I
don't want to die,
I-I don't want to die...

I've got a friend, he's a pure-bred killing machine,
I think he might be dead by Christmas...

It's called Everybody's going to war and it's by Nerina Pallot. And to be honest, if the world doesn't wake up to it's ideas then everybody will be going to war. And that sucks big time.

Moving along..

I went to my friend's party, it was pretty fun even if my Mum did turn up at the end and find me but ah well life goes on. I pretty much just kept talking to this guy (who used to go to primary and intermediate schools with me) back in the day the whole night and we've continued to keep talking to each other since then man we just talk for hours! I think the other night we txtd for .. about 6 hours?! I had forgotten how easy it was to talk to guys, I was so used to having pathetic little convos with my now ex boyfriend. I just couldn't talk to him...at all. And that's rather weird, because I end up talking to everyone! haha. I'm afraid I've lost a guy mate though, we used to talk heaps and then I went out with the darn ex and he just stopped talking to me, well not face-to-face but I haven't got a txt from him in about a month and a half and he won't reply to me.. I wish he would. The only reason I went out with the darn ex for (and I haven't admitted this to anyone) was because I knew this guy would never see me as more than a friend and I liked him sooo much...so instead of putting my heart on my sleeve I went out with a guy who liked me, but I never really liked.. im a bitch. Ah well time to move on. I'm just enjoying life at the moment, I don't need to find "Mr Right" for at least 10 years I suppose. He better come along though!

...There's this girl at school, I found her blog on the internet, and now I know so much about her, I want to reach out to her somehow, she's going through so much .. stuff that I know I'd never be able to cope with. She's kinda reserved at school, and hangs out with the people that no one associates with if you know what I mean, cliques are so over rated, but i'm not brave enough to change the tides so to speak. I really hope she has the greatest life when we all leave school. She deserves it..like everyone else.

Ah well better run
xxx

random ramblings

2006-10-03T19:30:00.000+13:00

Yay! I'm allowed to go to my friends party. Woot! It better be good.

What is it with old libriarians?? (excuse the spelling? I can't remember how to spell it haha) I went into the library yesterday to find out some things for my 8808 wide reading assessment for NCEA and I couldn't find the books I was looking for. So, thinking that helping people find books are what libriarians are for I went up to the counter and asked if they could help me find them. The first lady I admit was quite nice after I had told her that yes, I had used the computer, and yes they were in the library but she made me ask some other lady who just talked to me like pure ass. She basically looked me up and down and gave me the whole "what are you doing in here" look. Um ok.. yes, I am rather short for my age and don't really look 16, and yes, it is the holidays but when I have homework to do I want to get it done quickly and so I can't be bothered looking for books which I can't find so it would've been nice for the lady to talk to me in a pleasant tone. Also, I'm not gonna read children's books. So don't go telling me I shouldn't be reading Monica McInereny. SERIOUSLY. People frustrate me..yet amuse me so much. Anyway, the books ended up being on the bottom shelf...as in you have to kneel on the ugly patterned floor to get them and they all had different covers so of course I didn't even look at them. I mumbled thanks, took down the details I needed and then walked out as fast as my little legs could carry me.
Lol, I could just hear my Mum saying in my ear "You never look hard enough!"

I spent the rest of the day up town. I met up with a few people and yeah it was ok. I'm loving the fact that it's springtime. It's getting warmer and warmer. Especially where I live! Pratically the antartic. Not having to take a jacket or jersey with me is great! And I'm starting to tan up...oh no! I have big tan lines on my back and I'm planning on wearing my halterneck dress tomorrow.. ugh.. o well it'll be dark.. hopefully no one will point and stare.

Next week I go back to school, I only have 5 weeks this term and then I'm into study leave ready to start my NCEA exams on November 21. My exams don't finish until December 5th, I have six, English, Maths, Science, Dance, History and Spanish. Some of my friends only have about 3 - 5 exams and they finish on November 28th! So not fair for some of us to have an extra week of exams when I could be at the beach.
This year has just flown by. Not long until christmas now!

I've applied for a holiday job during the next holidays as I'm seriously running low on $$. I'm not sure if I'll get it though. Ah well.

Oh, on Sunday morning I found out this boy I used to go to school with committed suicide. I never thought he was the type. It just goes to show you never really can tell with people what goes on in the inside. It's so sad. He apparently thought he had all these problems and the only way to deal with it was to kill himself. RIP Michael...hope you're in a better place.

What a load of rambling this has been. I'm off now, update another day.
xxx

first post

2006-10-02T22:33:00.000+13:00

hey well i guess this is my first real post. Ok so I'm pip. I'm from NZ and I'm hoping i'll be able to use this just to vent out and hope that no one too close to home reads this.
So what's been happening in my life recently? Well, i'm single as of last week. I'm so retarded when it comes to relationships, i don't think any of them have lasted more than a month and at the moment that's ok because i'm only 16 but you know.. it'd be nice to have someone that I can stand for more than 4 weeks sometimes.. my friend sent me this thing about geminis and it just seems as though it's talking about me:

In love they are fickle, not intentionally so but because of the basic inconsistency of their emotional nature, which has an amoral aspect to it. Their is a side to Geminians which can become deeply involved emotionally, and another, hostile to sentimentality, which stands back from a romantic situation, laughing at it and the protagonists in it, including themselves while analyzing it intellectually. Gemini subjects take nothing seriously. So, in love, in spite of their temporary depth of feeling, for the intensity of involvement lasts only while it is new, they are superficial, light-hearted, cool, flirtatious and unimaginative in the understanding of the pain they may give others. They like intrigue, the excitement of the chase, but once they have caught the prey, they lose interest and look around for the next creature to pursue. In less serious situations they make witty, entertaining companions, good acquaintances rather than friends. Even at their worst they are never dull - there is usually playfulness below the surface, and they can be brilliant conversationalists - but they can also be quarrelsome, prattlers, boasters, liars and cheats.

so typically me. It's kinda gutting. Nearly all of my mates are getting boyfriends and like say they're soooo in love and they do all this stuff with them and then I landed myself with a guy and yeah he was pretty cool .. kinda.. but I just started to not like him.. it was rather weird. Anything to do with him I'd basically want to throw up. I started to not be able to stand him. And we'd been going out for like 3 weeks. How sad.

That party I went to the other night was soooo boring. So I started to txt people I knew and tell them to come over because I was so gonna fall asleep. And when I get bored I start to drink too much, so at like 11pm all these people just started to pile in through the door and I was pretty tipsy and then my mum came to pick me up at about midnight and I was kinda wasted and man I'm in so much shit. Now my friend is having drinks at her house on wednesday because her parents are away and it's the holidays and i don't reckon i'll be able to go. Oh well i guess I'll find a way.. i mean i'm only a teenager once. One of my other friends has been bribed with money by her parents to not drink until she's 18. Where's the fun in that? So she's not gonna drink until she's 18 which is the legal drinking age..but it's only illegal to buy it not drink it if you're under the age of 18 here. Anyone can drink it. I couldn't stand being the sober one all the time. I mean it may sound like I'm a piss head but I'm really not. I don't get on the piss much but when I do I want to have a good time. No one could bribe me from experiencing all this in my teens. Imagine going to uni and not having one sip of alcohol! You wouldn't know if your drink was spiked or not and what not.

Oh well i guess i better go now, write again soon.
comment if you read this please :)
xXx

hi

2006-09-30T17:24:00.000+12:00

hi, i felt the need to join this blogging craze and so i made a blog. hopefully i'll use this to just vent out. the name of my blog is pretty emo i reckon but i don't want people too close to home reading this..ya know? Well to start out with i'm 16, female and from new zealand. you'll most probably find out more in the posts to come but at the moment i've gotta run because i'm off to a party...and it's raining. oh man. well i'll catch you later. ciao xox